Travel Babble and Beeyond

Is there anybody out there?

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 11:28:00 GMT

Hello to the faithful few who *may* still follow this. I've moved over to another, more saucy blog. Email me if you want dibs!

So Noisy Saigon

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 22:40:00 GMT

Well so much has happened since my last update. Every day is so full packed with stuff…even on the lazy days. Since the Thai jungle…we were both mezmerized and saddened by Cambodia. Learning about the horrors of the Kumer Rough left R and I baffled and deeply sad. We toured a prison where Pol Pot’s army tourtured and held captive many and went to the Killing Fields outside of Phnom Penh to wittness massive, open graves, the trees they would beat children on, where they hung the loud speaker to drown out the screaming, the skulls with hatchet marks in them. It was a lot to take in…how could one man command so many to kill they own…in the late seventies..in such psychologically/physically brutal ways? Two million fell victim to this mass genocide in a mere four years. R and I could only say a small prayer because there is no comprehension of this, no explanation.

We were also able to experience beautiful splendor in Cambodia in Siem Reap where they infamous Angkor Wat temples are (you know…Tomb Raider???). I can’t explain how mystifying and gorgeous they were…old, sandsone rock carved intricately and covered in mystical mosses. Gigantic trees grew hrough many of the enormous structures.

We then made our way to Vietnam. Ohhh Vietnam…so hard to love at times but I did learn a lot there and enjoyed it with at least the baseline love I have for all travel. We first went to the gorgeous, lesser known island Phu Quoc just south of the mainland. What a treat. We stayed in a little beach bumgalow RIGHT ON THE OCEAN (I kid you not…) for $17/night. The island has many dirt roads, cows roaming on deserted beaches, curious old fishing boats, and sandy, untouched beauty for miles. However, it won’t be long until they “pave paradise” as Vietnam is learning the tourist potential of Phu Quoc. When our flight to Ho Chi Min (Saigon) was delayed by two hours Vietnam Airlines (i.e. the government) groomed us by transporting us into the city for a huge, delicious, banquet lunch. R noted, “they must want tourists to come back!” At any rate, R and I took a moto (like a mow-ped) around the island throughout our stay. Two minutes out on the moto I acquired what I would learn later is an “Asian tatoo.” Due to both R and my fault the moto tipped and I burned the crap out of my right calf on the exhaust pipe. The relatively deep burn is about 3.5 inches long and 1.5 inches wide with a few other pieces of burnt flesh around it. It looks totally gross!!! It’s still pretty painful and I get bummed thinking about the scar I think it will make. I guess plenty of tourists (especially) have gotten them but I haven’t seen anyone else with one (I know my friend Ankit had one and another traver we met had one in the past). A Malaysian stopped me in a store yesterday and told me to try oil on it, don’t put antibiotic on it, and let it air out. So I’m currently trying that folk remedy with baby oil. Anyone else know how to treat an Asian tatoo???

Phu Quoc was lush and lovely…and gave us strength to encounter Ho Chi Min. The city is full of methods and madness and made my city girl heart sing again. We saw some (heh hem) “interesting” government propagated museums focused on the Vietnam War. I guess I will just say that it was quite uncomfortable being an American going through these…for several reasons…

So Ho Chi Min is a facinating, full of history place. Significantly, it’s one of the most difficult places in the world to cross the street. At some points you can look out onto a sea of 1,000’s of moto drivers. You basically have to cross half of the street at a time weaving in and out of moto’s/cars. You can’t be afraid and you can’t stop either! When we were set to leave Ho Chi Min a mass flood greeted us…at first it seemed a little crazy and exhilarating until all the cockroaches started coming up from the streets to find dry land. One got caught in my shoe as tons gathered under our Hostel entrance! It was definitely eek!

Also! I forgout about the rich and interesting Mekong Delta in Vietnam! We spend a few days exploring the fertile fishing/rice/vegetable land here…seeing how people lived in the boats and houses by the shore was really neat. Also the kids are so cute while waving wildly as your boat goes by.

Also notably, R and I try and find what we call a “Fear Factor” street in all the places we go. These streets are where people are preparing/eating/holding captive things we would not see in the states… For example in Thailand, there was a huge, encolsed tent area full of rows of dried fish skin…pig heads…raw meats…etc. In Phnom Penh we say tons of frogs in bags, live fish flopping around in bowls, big, black catfish scurring around in their holding vats, etc. Will write more later in the Vietnam FF streets later…

Now the Fear Factor stuff being said…we have had impeccable (and often cheap) food everywhere. Enjoyed the fa (spelling?), noodles in Vietnam and the Amok chilchen/fish curries in Cambodia. I bought some Amok spices and can’t wait to cook some up at home!

For now, we are in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia…it’s a very modern city yet we both felt a slight pang for the rougher places we’ve been. The rougher places are, well, rougher, but they have their own unique rewards. By the way, for those curious, we’ve been staying in places that cost us each $8-$9 on average per night…so nothin’ too fancy yet but I’m a hostel girl at heart anyway. We might splurge on something when we get to Bali.

Don’t wanna go home! Only a few weeks left though…at that :(.

Cheers to all!

The most frightening pee...ever.

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 22:39:00 GMT

From July 11...

Word all! R and I are in Cambodia now having a totally awesome time.

To recap the last few days, we basically went up to Chang Mai, Thailand and hiked through the dense Thai jungle for two days straight. We slept in the jungle too on a raised bamboo hut on a small mat inside a mosquito net. The jungle is a very mysterious and exciting place. We saw gigantic beetles, spiders, magnificent butterflies, flowers, and waterfalls. It was also quite muddy in the jungle and we trekked over all sorts of terrains–definitely a sweaty challenge. The jungle becomes a little scary when you are sleeping next to a thick, deep jungle wall..and have to go pee. The idea of walking 30 yards to the outhouse completely scared the crap out of me so I decided to hang my big white behind off the side of the bamboo porch. As I was squatting my bum to the ground, alone in the dark, I thought of all the noctural preditors who might come up and take a big chunk out of it. Of course, as I’m thinking this I’m peeing a liter and can’t stop (I held it all day like a camel). Finally I finish and stumble back to my mosquito net to sleep. Ahhh, no jungle cat terror.

In an hour I have to pee again. DOH! The fear begins all over and R’s wondering if I’m OK…I say yeah, do my business again all the while imagining jungle cat sounds.

Overall the Thai jungle was amazing. Jungle life fascinates me….how do people survive out there? What are their problems? What are their concerns? What do they eat..? What eats…them?

Now we are in the Cambodian jungle around Siam Reap. So much to report from here, too. Just thought some people might be amused with my Thai jungle adcentures…

Rocking out Bangkok

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 07:43:00 GMT

R and I have been hauling our butts through the crazy streets of Bangkok for four days now…we’ve been having a blast. Bangkok is actually the easiest place I’ve traveled in 3 years. I keep thinking back to India, Mongolia, Russia, Eastern Europe, and China and can’t help but think ‘Wow this is a total breeze!’
Despite Bangkok’s business…the super chill Thai-ness makes everything doable. So does the quick and easy public transportation system here.

We saw some beautiful, old Buddist statues and monuments outside B-kok today. Oh! And we saw Muay Thai kickboxing a few days ago—really, really cool–and not too bloody. We sat ringside!!! Rav loved it. Been eating some to die for Thai food (I continue on my quest to find the best Pad Thai around…)

Went to a really sweet, chill park (Lumpinhi) where I swear to god we saw a Komoto Dragon. Ok it was probably only like 4-5 feet long lizard but it seemed HUGE! At first R wanted to rent a paddle boat but when he saw that thing he changed his mind. The park also had this totally ghetto fabulous “Worlds Gym” type of thing with trees and grass growing all over it—it was all exercise equipment circa 1962. Rusty and spectacular. It was a literal jungle gym and some buff Thais were workin’ on their fitness in there! Also saw a couple of Thai guys playing a board game chillin’ in the park, too.

We had an exciting adventure at this huge shopping mall called the Emporium…because…I forgot my glasses. Yep. Something I NEVER do on big trips, but I did so all I had on the 24 HOUR COMMUTE to Bangkok were my contacts. It got painful… anyway… I picked out some sassy CK purple and blue glasses and had lenses put in within a day. My argument to R was: if I really go through with this doctoral program I’m going to need lots of pairs of funky glasses!!! They cost about the same as they would have in the states with my insurance.

So yeah, I dig Bangkok. It’s easy traveling–hot as hell though. The monsoon rains help cool things down but our $5/night hostel room fan is not so forgiving. We also finalized the rest of our travels. Those include: Cambodia, Vietnam, Malaysia, and Bali.

Basically R and I have been reveling in all this time together. After a few Singah beers yesterday I couldn’t resist giving him a smooch on the street. A Thai lady saw us and exclaimed, “In love!” I of course said “Yes!” to which she replied, “Cool!” This afternoon we laid around after a hot day of picture taking at old Thai architecture sites and giggled like high schoolers for like 2 hours. Actually we’ve done that practically every day. It’s a nice deal :).

By the way R can’t tell a Ladyboy to save his life. Ladyboys are men who dress up as women or really have a sex change to look like women…all over. There are quite a few here in Thailand and work in a number of different areas: the makeup counter at the Emporium, dancing, sex work. Many are actually quite striking women and I found a few checking out R. R’s response to this is the same as it is with anatomical women: total cluelessness.

Headed to Chang Mai (still Thailand) tomorrow…will hopefully see lots of nature and do some trekking. R is considering taking Muay Thai kick boxing lessons.

And…I kinda like having a familiar travel partner…it’s nice and makes things easier. R has noted I’m kind of a travel snob and like to run the show in this arena…but we are doing just fine (wonderful in fact) and I’m sure now we will figure out any bumps in the road. I knew everything would be ok!!! I just have this weird thing about whenever I’m happy I feel like something bad will happen! I hate that! Nothing to feel bad about these days though, all is very well in my world.

The Samantha Problem

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 12:34:00 GMT

Hellllo... is there anybody out there??? I know I hardly ever write in this silly thing anymore. Like a diary, it's a bunch of public mess from yesterday, brain stuff jotted and then forgotten.

But every once in a while I like to log on and write in my *secret* blog here (I have another one I tool around with now...)

I'm one of those people who thinks being single aint' so bad at all. I still bitch and moan about guys, but in an abstract, impersonal way. Not the way that can hurt people when you are in a relationship.

People always say... reationships are hard. Being single is hard. I think it's easier for some people to be in relationships--like Charlotte from S&TC. But for some others, being single is easier--like Samantha. Sometimes I think there's a lot of Sam's out there posing to be Char's. I can't even begin to tell you how much "being in a relationship" is socially important. Choosing to be single, to love yourself more, is typically construed as a narcissistic or as masked desperation. Samantha made being single, loving oneself more, and still have long term relationships only here and there legitimate. It makes one think.

Sometimes I think I'm one of those people who are better off single. There I said it. I like relationships, and I've learned a great deal from every one I've been in, but I'm not so sure the gran pasion (the one) lasts forever. Maybe there are a series of little ones throughout one's life with periods of freedom, singledom? Is it necessary to be tied to one family, one set of in laws, one person your whole, entire life?

Kids kind of muck this up...because yea...if you want them the traditional relationship becomes more necessary (IMOP). But even without the kid factor, is is really reasonable to think that one person, forever, is the way to go? The romantic in me has shrunk into a skeleton over the years (seriously...as you get older cynicism and realism tend to nip harder and harder).

I have a theory about people who meet and get married young. They grow through all this stuff I'm writing about--together. When you grow through it all alone (like me) you REALLY gain a distinct sense of what this all means and how it should impact your life... and, just like you, so do other single, independent potential mates. And when the two meet, it's hard to mesh two different, older and more stubborn growing minds--IMOP!

Again, this is all theory. I love my boyfriend and am generally very happy with him. Sometimes I do get overwhelmed with all that's involved in adopting another life into my own, but I guess that's why I take space and re-group. Sometimes it's hard to see it pan out in the long term (I see him EVERY DAY? Answer to him EVERY day? Have all these additional people to accommodate--- his friends, family --- suddenly, intimitely in my life...forever?!). My friends *know* I'm not the best accommodater (yet they still love me). But you kind of have to be accommodating to make a relationship work. To what extent though? How much compromise is enough...? Where do you draw the limit/boundaries? I suppose that's what my aging, stubborn mind is trying to figure out.

Only the Female Larry David thinks about these things and that's why that person is me.

I don't know why the hell I'm not living in New York given how dark and jaded I've grown!

HA!

The Crazy Show

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 21:06:00 GMT

I try to stay away from crazy, unfortunately, I was born into it.

I think it's so funny when people who have hurt you expect you to forgive them as if nothing happened. It's funny when people project their own guilt and shortcomings onto you and just say, oh but forgive me! If they only knew what this stuff feels like. If they only knew I had given my best, and that my best is really, objectively, pretty damn good. If they could only just accept my thoughts---but they can't because they can't accept the way THEIR OWN THOUGHTS are. Shame on them. Thank god as an adult you don't have to listen to it anymore. You can simply hang up the phone and continue with the good life all around you.

Religious, guilt inducing tirades are always fun too. Again, thank god they don't affect me anymore.

Sad when adults use childish tactics to validate their own missteps. Haven't I had to deal with that enough already?

Sigh. Another chapter of loose boundaries and irrational family claims. Deemed the all-bad kid--some things never change no matter how good you are. Sometimes you have to be your own advocate, your own parent.

Responsibility is tiring.

Stuff from Guru R

Tue, 19 Feb 2008 15:38:00 GMT

Guru R (my man) :) is in India and we *type talk* a lot! As we figure out how to make white girl (me) work in the Telugu family recipe we share all kinds of bits of insight. Here's his gems from our conversation, he's so good!

Me: i do have a tendency to get extremely sensitive about the people in the life of someone i love. i feel really bad if i don't think they like or approve of me. indian family or not!!

how do i get past being so sensitive about the family/friends impressions??

Guru R: The best way to get past being so sensitive is to realize, you are not responsible for their happiness. Likewise, they are not responsible for yours. you can't take it upon yourself to make them happy, nor can you let their hang-ups make you unhappy.

I'm trying to take it to heart myself, and realize more and more that, little by little, I am not responsible for other people's happiness. I do have an obligation to be sensitive if I care about the person, but I can't choose my path in life based on what will make others happy.

Me: me: HUmmmm...paradoxically, people who have mastered what you just said usually are the most likable
because they don't try, the are just themselves

usually i am like this..!! it's just when i get in an intimate relationship i find myself wanting to do all sorts of things to make them like me and vice versa and i think some of that is good, but i can go too far

Guru R: yup. That's also where forgiveness comes in. I'm not happy when I feel someone is failing at making me happy, but forgiving them for that makes me happy. And others respond well to being excused from the obligation of making you happy.

******************************************************************************************************************************************

This guy continues to impress... :)

more exciting v day stuff...

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 22:06:00 GMT

http://www.berkeley.edu/news/berkeleyan/2008/02/13_love.shtml

Happy V Day...

Tue, 12 Feb 2008 14:40:00 GMT

A wonderful article!

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1704672-1,00.html

My peeps

Mon, 11 Feb 2008 22:57:00 GMT

So, after a beer filled night with Riffle I of course had a sinking feeling that I had done something wrong this morning. When I got home in my severely tipsy state I logged onto a blog/message board I have been frequenting to gain more insight into interracial dating. Specifically, the site is geared towards the issues that arise when white girls date or marry Indian boys. Anyway, last night I finally busted out some frustration over how different I am from the other white girls one there. I haven’t even checked to see how they blog writers have responded to me. Frankly, it’s been such an uphill pull in expressing my views, I feel too worn out to continue. I have been visiting the site way too frequently, and in my attempt to thoroughly investigate I got too hung up in it (like I do with so many things). At first it was thrilled to find such a resource, and though it did teach me a lot, I think my relationship with the blog is coming to a close.

I first found the site when I was in frantic frenzy over dating my lovely R. I didn’t know how we could bridge the Indian/American community and cultural divide even though we matched so well as individuals. The Midwestern girl who runs the site, we’ll call her BC here, married a man from the same caste and state as R. Again, I thought I’d hit a gold mine given the situational similarities. BC is an articulate writer and really fleshes out the opposition she faced from the Indian side in trying to be with her man. Upon first glance, I felt like it was the first time I had met someone “like me” and had a place where my issues would be understood.

As I started posting and engaging in continued dialogue with BC and the community I realized we weren’t so similar after all. Her man, S, really seemed to want to be American in most (if not all) ways and rejected many of the “very Indian” notions he grew up with. For four years BC felt she was dating just another American boy down the hall. She did like the romantic idea of winning the heart of an Indian boy who would fight for her despite a resistant family. However, when her and S were ready to commit to a future together, she had little clue as to how nasty that fight would get with a “very Indian” mother and father-in-law. Though S rejected his parents’ religion and way of life, he never his rejected parents. So, there would be much to be worked out to say the least.

I also learned that BC had sort of wanted all the things that would entail marrying the typical American boy down the hall. S converted to Christianity, played baseball, and drove a Ford SUV. So it seemed he fit what she was looking for. I do find it ironic that she once said she loved "Choose Your Own Adventure" stories, so that was the way she was going to look at marrying an Indian. But when you're not willing to change your mind in any way to accommodate other ways of thinking I'm not quite sure how adventuresome that is...

However, I don’t fault BC for anything that she was looking for or expecting out of a relationship at all. I genuinely believe there is someone for everyone. But, I eventually found I could not relate to what she was looking for. I have never been interested in the typical American boy down the hall. I tried it a few times with an open mind, but I just never found this all-American boy who loved culture, travel, spicy food, open spiritual beliefs, learning, and thought in the ways that I did. Perhaps there is a white guy somewhere who thinks the way I do and is attracted to what I am, but I never found him. For the reasons I stated, I have always found a particular attraction towards Indian men. I seemed to find more what I was looking for when I dated Indian guys.

So, as much as I thought I had finally found a connection and support through BC’s blog, I began to realize we were much different. She picks apart what she thinks are nutty Hindu rituals (head shaving) and strange Indian behaviors like her Indian family giving her large sums of monetary gifts. She condemns Indians for their close mindedness and resistance to accept other races. Though her in-laws were pretty rough on accepting her, she was adamant about not changing, adapting, or compromising any part of herself.

To me, it’s fine if you don’t want to eat Indian food. It’s fine if you don’t want to wear saris. It’s fine if you want to expresses your physical affection towards anyone, anytime your heart desires. It’s fine if you think Hinduism is creepy, weird, or just plain not your way. It’s fine if you want to call out and condemn all the narrow mindedness of Indians and how they are can be stubborn, irrationally fearful, and sometimes racist.

Just don’t think it’s going to get you very far with most Indian families.

I am different from BC because I am genuinely open to embracing Indian culture. I’m comfortable with it and not because it’s cool, trendy to date an Indian guy, or that I’m trying to rebel against the White Man. I don’t feel that wearing sari’s, eating wonderful Indian food, toning down the physical affection, and focusing on the significant positives I see in the culture imposes on my personal beliefs at all. I don’t agree when Indian attitudes get mean and racist (and they can be), but overall, I have found if you display even just some willingness to understand the Indian way, and not sit around smugly condemning it, you get a lot farther.

Understanding Indian ways just seemed like such a genuine, personal stretch for BC. She even admits that the plethora of her writings are a form of personal “post-traumatic stress therapy.” I’m not judging what she personally values, in fact I felt somewhat sorry for her in that she received so much resistance for exercising how she defined herself. But, one reader did question if she thought it was all worth it. In the end she said it was worth it, but personally, I don’t think I could have done what she did. For example, if I was in love with a guy who rejected his parents’ staunchly conservative, fundamentally Christian, abortion clinic picketing parents, and STILL had a close relationship with them, I think it would be really hard for me. THAT would be a stretch for me. I don’t think I could do it.

I’ve thought a lot about if the ways of R’s Indian family would be a similar stretch. After much investigation through travel, dialogue, breaking things down practically, I really don’t think it is. I’ve tried to put myself in BC’s shoes, and though I think they were extremely difficult and sometimes genuinely painful for her to be in, I have come to the conclusion that I think things will be quite different for me.

And, I have learned that R is very different from S. R still embraces much of the Indian culture that he was raised and deeply rooted in. R also values many American ways as well. Often, he is able to thoughtfully integrate both ways and I’d say it has been rather fascinating to witness.

Another thing I like about the Indian way is that it’s not something you can easily shake off. I do raise a brow to second-generation Indians who think it is. I tend to believe, you can take the boy out of India but you can’t take the India out of the boy. After knowing that it is this very Indianness that has shaped R’s spirituality, compassion, empathy, and love, nor would I ever want to.

The blog/message board is geared towards those who hold conservative, Christian, Western values. The writers rally around and support white women dealing with sometimes genuinely ignorant Indian parents—this is a good resource for people. I’m not denying I won’t have some of those issues as well. And, I won’t deny the board has made me look more critically at Indian culture and see its definite faults. It has made me aware of stumbling blocks I might face and enabled me to plan and prepare for such. However, the blog really hasn’t changed my views of white people in that most don’t feel comfortable or even want to stretch themselves towards understanding the Indian way. Again, no judgment here, but I can see these types of Indian/American relationships being much more fraught with trappings.

I tried to offer an alternative view to the kind of “hold fast to your conservative values and teach the Indians a lesson” way. I proposed we could learn from Indians too. I voted to not mistake fear and deeply rooted ties to culture for racism and maliciousness. A few people were glad for my expressed views, and I tried to keep expressing them for this purpose, but I can’t say I haven’t grown tired of running against the grain. I find it hard to read about making fun of Indians and stressing their close mindedness. In some strange way, I feel like they are my people and I need to defend them. And perhaps that is what I have learned most from the blog.

Big dreams...

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:49:00 GMT

Hello!

I've been over working on my new blog of polished writing. I'm not ready yet to unleash it to everyone but soon, soon.

I was just telling R about the project...

Me: You know how I am, big talk. Big dreams.

R: Big similarities, you and me :).

I like that. And I like him.

The narrowest path...

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 10:23:00 GMT

...is always the hardest.

Simple, small loves
easy doings
and undoings.

Smooth rides
deals, compromises
makes most work.

The hard things
The grit
etches at the core.

Eroded souls
bitter flirtations
heart branded endings

Pain
Suffering
Redemption

These big things
tear away at
-but also-
reveal the light.

Key West and The After Camp Syndrome

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 09:04:00 GMT

Remember that sinking, sad feeling after coming home from camp or some great vacation when you were a kid? That's how R and I felt yesterday after an amazing Key West trip. It's remarkable how much good a little sunshine, laid back energy, and time with the one you love can do.

We saw the Hemingway House, rode around the island on a scooter and chugged through the Key West Half marathon. R had some trouble with his knee half way through so I ran ahead to go buy him some Motrin. We both ended up making it through the race, hand in hand. We loved all the elderly people cheering us on from the sidelines! They were all so happy and full of life, it was a great thing to see. I told R we should retire in Key West... six months in Key West, six months in India... :)

We had excellent food at the Half Shell Raw Bar... crab legs, shrimp, crab cake, oysters.... delicious! A perfect vacation....well minus the hotel I found. I screwed up big time there--we ended up staying in a TOTAL dive (heh heh because it was cheap). Next time R promises to find us one of those cool, old B & B's to stay in there...

I think R and I were also a little sad because we still have a few months to go until we live in the same city. We've made it a long way--a year already so far--but this last leg feels kind of tough. Oh well, it's not forever and when he's here I know we will be together a lot.

Update...

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 14:26:00 GMT

Word. So since I still get a ton of hits on the blog I figure I need to throw an update in. Just read this very interesting article:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/01/24/best.selling.christian.ap/index.html

Going to Key West with my man tomorrow! Can't wait. I have such a wonderful time with him. Pure joy. Nothing to analyze or obsess over. Just feels great...exciting and comfortable at the same time. It's a really, really good feeling.

Game face

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 09:02:00 GMT

As much as I have no clue where I'm going with my career, nothing can snap me out of a slump like the prospect of traveling. Looks like my brother's plan of the moment is to stay in Shanghai this summer. So, I'm thinking of ways I can fly over there and see him. There's a $400 roundtrip from Bangkok to Shangai I might purchase. I'm not thrilled to go to Shanghai again---it's a neat place---but I'd rather see something else.

More to come..

Response paper

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 22:31:00 GMT

Just something kind of neat on The Law of Manu...

Laws of Manu: Women, Marriage and The Family Affair
Sarah B**********************************************************
01.17.07

The Manusmriti is one of the sutras of Hindu scripture. Written by Manu in the second century BCE, his twelve chapters outline a code of law and conduct that organizes social order for Hindus. Specifically, the Manusmriti proudly addresses the role of twice-born “pure” Brahmins while giving arguably oppressive mandates for Untouchables and woman (Knott, 81, 85). In chapters three, five, and nine, the Manusmriti significantly addresses the role of women and marriage in Hindu society. It is stressed that women are not “fit for independence” and should always be taken care of by a male, whether it may be a father, brother, brother-in-law, son or spouse (3:1). Other important mandates of woman include being beautiful (3:14,3:10), bearing sons (9:6), and life long celibacy if her husbands die (5:11).

Throughout the three chapters of the Manusmriti mentioned, equanimity, obedience, and a good-natured temperament are explicitly desired of Hindu wives (9:2, 9:6). Wives are called to “always be cheerful, clever in managing household affairs, careful in cleaning her utensils, and economical in expenditure” (5:10). As daughters, Hindu women must exhibit these qualities towards her father and when her father passes her over to a suitable husband her dispassionate, pleasing demeanor should continue (5:10). In chapter nine, Manu states two laws, back to back, that seem particularly distressing. In the first law he states physically sick wives who are kind can be kept. In the law that directly follows he stresses that if wives express anger their husbands have grounds to supersede them with another wife. Is Manu suggesting that an ill, obedient wife is more worthy of keeping than a healthy, angry one?

Marriage tends to be a complex community and family affair. Proper marriages are to take place between two partners of the same caste. To deviate from this propriety is considered a blatant disregard for Hindu law and furthermore one’s dharma. A Brahmana who takes a Sudra wife to his bed is at risk of losing his rank (3:2). Those who wed lower caste Hindu’s also degrade their families (3:2). Manu’s Law states maidens must have reputable fathers and brothers as a testament to her worthiness (3:1). Thus, the Hindu marriage union becomes a family affair involving same caste unions, a maiden’s family credentials, and her ability to be an obedient, dispassionate, and beautiful spouse.

Throughout the Manusmriti, abiding by the rules and protocols aligned with one’s social position takes precedent over any other notion. In addition to mandates for marriage unions and the role of women, pure and proper food, burial rituals, and handing of the estate all are addressed in Manu’s Laws. In these instances, families are called to work as collective units in maintaining standards set forth by Manu. Duties and responsibilities are thoroughly outlined for wives, husbands, daughters, son-in laws, the widowed and so on. Every person in a family plays an important part. Thus, if one family member does not participate, the ritual or protocol becomes improper or imbalanced.

Balance, social order, and duty are the dominating themes of the Ramayana. The marriage of Rama and Sita is no exception. Jankaka and Dasaratha, the fathers of Sita and Rama, convened to discuss the line of Manu in regards to who should marry Sita. Rama is revealed as the man who is destined to marry her. Thus, the laws of dharma were upheld as Rama and Sita’s union was fated. However, Rama and Sita had not even met one another until their wedding day. When Rama saw her “entire beauty” for the first time his heart was hers (Menon, 54). Throughout their wedding divine voices sang, flowers fell out of heaven to bless them, and streets opened up with the beating of drums. The family and community celebrated and witnessed their unraveling destinies. Thus, Rama and Sita serve as a model for a proper marriage according to Manu’s law. While gazing at their marriage through a Western lens, one cannot help but ask, what if Rama and Sita discover they are incompatible as partners?

Jonah Blank addresses the question of Rama and Sita’s personal love in “Arrow of the Blue Skinned God.” Blank suggests that in the West we know all to well the undoing and doings of a personal, lusty love. In the Ramayana, Sita and Rama’s love is based upon close, family intervention, the insight of guru’s and alignment with one’s true path in life. Blank writes:

It is not a love that arises from the satisfaction of physical or emotional desires—most of us, with our chains of blithe coupling and uncouplings, have experienced *that* type of love often enough. *That* sentiment, perhaps better labeled “romance” or “passion” is what we in the West generally mean when we say “love.” But Cupid’s sting wounds the heart, not the soul. It is, fundamentally, a selfish longing: we yearn to be with a loved one for the simple reason it makes us happy. A fine, fine thing, yes-but not the sort of love that makes the world go ‘round.

The love celebrated in the Ramayana is a completely different breed. It comes not from the fulfillment of individual wants, but from their sublimation. It can exist side by side with romance (and for contented couples in both East and West it generally does), but it does not rely on mere fleeting cupidity. It is a love that requires the surrender of the self. It is a love that leads to the procreation of
children and the preservation of the species. It is a love that makes us whole.

The arrow of cupid strikes deep, but not so deep as the Arrow of God.

This is the love that Sita and Rama shared, this is the love that keeps India alive.

Questions for Discussion:

How does Rama and Sita’s marriage abide by Manu’s Laws?

How is Sita the perfect Hindu wife according to Manu’s Laws? Find textual support from Manu’s Laws and the Ramayana.

How does duty and dharma play out in the role of marriage in Hindu culture? How do these notions of dharma and duty differ from Western notions of marriage? Is a personal/passionate love considered proper or acceptable in Hindu marriages…or not? Do Sita and Rama have a personal love?

Additional sources:

Blank, J (1993). Arrow of the blue skinned god. (2000). New York: Grove Press.

Knott, K, (1998). Hinduism: A very short introduction. New York: Oxford University Press.

Menon, R. (2001). The Ramayana: A modern retelling of the great Indian epic. Nebraska: North Point Press.

Holden's phoneys

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 22:31:00 GMT

So I haven't blogged in a while. Don't worry, I've still been all caught up in my head brooding over a variety of topics. Just overhauling my psyche. In other words, business as usual.

I've been kind of mad at myself for not being more directed. I lack focus and can't stick with one thing. On average I check out about 25 graduate programs and jobs a week. I'm restless and frankly growing tired with myself!

Argh!

I also feel like a big fake sometimes. I hate that. Very self consciousness. Dreams going haywire, options seem plentiful, but they materialize like a mirage.

Don't worry my next post will involve much less self loathing. I hope.

Missing the subcontinent...

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 11:56:00 GMT

A gal on this little message board blog I frequent asked to me share some of my impressions of India. Thought I would post them here. I miss the place...

I spent a month there last summer (blistering hot, monsoon season). I did a service trip in the Himalayas (Jammu-Kashmir), went through Agra (home of the breathtaking Taj), Goa, and Jaipur. I think that Jaipur, Rajasthan was my favorite. There were parts where I backpacked alone– which I would not recommend.

It will be easier for you since you will be with your guy and Indian dudes tend to be good natural protectors. But prepare yourself to attract the most intense stares, glances, and sour faces looking at you! Why? Well pretty much because you are white and different. I’m still not sure the source of some of the disdainful looks you can get though. But, that being said, many Indians will open up to you (even their homes I once found) if you engage them a bit.

In all honesty I wouldn’t recommend India travel to 85-90% of my friends. Then again, I travel a certain way that would probably freak the crap out of most people (i.e. train station-police debacles at 2am, sleeping on the ground, festering in grime for days, peeing anywhere and everywhere, etc.). So it will heavily depend HOW you are traveling. Backpacking India–especially alone as a female–is one of the toughest things to do. I remember being alone on a plane and I swear the entire flight of Indian passengers must have thought I was a hooker. Who knows though…that’s the thing about India! You can never quite figure it out or wrap your Western brain around it. The people who try (all the hippies, spiritual seekers and such) just end up looking kind of silly.

Anyway, just be prepared, for the most part Indians (older women especially) will not be thrilled to see you with an Indian dude. His family may be nice, but being out traveling and in the community your experience will likely be much different. So you gotta be tough to hack it!

But you may just stick around his family’s house and be driven around by their driver or a service…what are your specific plans? Are you traveling around India or hanging around his family/house mainly?

I never got sick once—that is extremely rare–especially given the altitudes we were at in the Himalayas. But, I have traveled A LOT and thankfully countries like China and Mongolia prepared me to hack it. Experienced backpackers tend to say, there’s everywhere else…and then there’s India.

Ok instead of telling you all about my adventure, I’ll ask you a few questions so I might be able to speak to what’s pertinent to you. What state and kind of background is your man from–low or high caste? I’m not making a judgment here, but I can tell you much more what your experience might be like given this. How long will you be there? What season? I imagine you are staying with his family, yes? Ask about toilets…even well off families have out-houses and faucets for showers.

Also have you traveled before? Are you used to more chaotic situations? Have you seen immense poverty before? I ask because sometimes, well often, poverty exists right smack along side riches. The extremes of India can be daunting…

General things:

1. You will never feel clean by Western standards–ever. Even when I was staying with a high-status Brahmin family I never felt like I got the India grime off me.

2. Never drink the water and make sure bottled water is sealed. Water filters are also an option…

3. There’s usually a general stink in the air, you’ll get used to it. It’s harder to get used to the personal BO–India hasn’t quite caught on to using personal products like deodorant yet.

4. Bring books. Even though India is totally hectic and chaotic, not a whole lot gets done there at a fast pace : /. The pace is very different…it’s really kind of chill and you gotta go with the flow. Actually in India it’s IMERATIVE you go with the flow otherwise you’ll have a nervous breakdown. Everything exists on Indian time. Everything. Trains, planes, cabbies, meals….all might take between 4-12 hours longer than you might expect :).

5. You can get ANY kind of medicine without prescription at the local pharmacies. It’s safe too.

6. You might consider doing the prophylactic malaria meds, I didn’t and was fine.

7. There are times you might want to close your eyes when riding in a car. The roads are scary as hell — but this also depends on your driver.

8. Please do not wear shorts or tank tops no matter how warm it is. Some backpackers do, but it just looks tacky and they stick out like a sore thumb. Remember, the subcontinent is pretty conservative. You are going to get enough stares anyway! If you are blonde your stares will increase, many Indians are still fascinated with blondes.

9. The subcontinent is about 1/3 the size of the US but is home to three times as many people in the US. Get ready, it’s a large scale to take in :).

10.Bring your own toilet paper and get used to squatting!!! And, gastroenteritis is the most common form of sickness. Ask about parasites, some of those devils floating around won’t ever leave your system.

11. Yeah no touching your man in public. I wouldn’t do it around his family either. I would err on the side of conservative for most successful results. But, as we have hashed out here, do what makes you comfortable.

12. Beggars will come up to you, touch you, show you their physical deformities (polio in many cases), plead with you, and shove their kids in your face. Just look the other way—some people may think this is harsh—but it’s how you can survive and be a strong traveler. If you give one person money you will have like 30 people chasing after you—so just don’t.

13. Take it easy—Indians don’t tend to frown on napping. Hydrate, be well, and put your health first. Seriously, by all means do this in India of all places. Don’t be afraid to assert your needs.

Ok I don’t mean to scare you with this stuff, it’s just good prep. India is a land of extremes and many cultures, religions, and ways of life. You will love and hate it. You will sometimes hate that you love it. And love it because you hate it. ARGHH!!! :) Um, unfortunately, some people do just hate it and only judge it based upon the negative extremes :(. But for me, I love it warts and all.

Now the things I loved:

1. Transcendental Chicken Tikka Masala. I swear I almost fell off my chair and cried “Lord Have Mercy!” (and I’m not particularly religious!) when I ate this stuff. The food will ROCK you–and home hooked food is the best :). You are in for a treat of your lifetime if you like it…it’s more than food…it truly is an experience.

2. The colors…the vibrancy…the meaning of every daily task. Regardless of caste, everyone has a spiritual duty and meaning to the work they do. You can really see it if you look between the lines…

3. The underlying spirituality to everything is fascinating. Gods adorn the windshields and bathroom stalls.

4. You can’t beat seeing autorickshaws, camels, elephants, Ambassador cars, cabs, and bicicles whizzing or trotting by on the road.

5. The chaos—simply watching a street scene. At any time you can see about 35 senarious unfolding. It’s astounding.

6. If you find it, the kindness and hospitality of Indians is the best in the entire world. Someone literally gave me their own bed to sleep in. Karma is big and they believe in it. The goodness they throw out to the cosmos will sometimes smack you in the face. It will astound you.

Whenever I tell Indian people about how I love India they tend to be kind of taken back and a little shocked. They almost don’t believe I actually like the place at first. One sweet Karnataka native told me last week, “There is a lot of bad…but please see India for the good.” I assured her I did see the good. She looked at me with the most serene, appreciative face I’ve ever seen in my whole life…

If you have more questions, shoot. Remember this is just one interpretation and I tried to be informative without generalizing…

I can give you a great book list if you want too.

Also, from what I know about you on here, you seem very open minded, bright, and easy going…you should do just fine! India significantly rewards these attributes! Namaste (the god in me recognizes the god in you)!

I'm Not There

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 15:28:00 GMT

Hey, FANTASTIC movie. One of those rare gems relaying multi-layered emotional truths. Right up there with Magnolia, Blue Velvet, and other David Lynch films. Totally brilliant. Ahh makes me think back to when I first saw Dylan in concert...I just got that vibe of realness and truth all over again. I remember telling Chom it was imperative I married someone who "got Bob Dylan." Spoken like a true hippie :).

You might want to do a bit of homework on Dylan's life before you see it. It might help put things together. Scorsese's documentary on Dylan, No Direction Home, will help a lot.

To read a far superior review than what I can give check this out (caution, spoilers):

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&ct=res&cd=1&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmovies.nytimes.com%2F2007%2F11%2F21%2Fmovies%2F21ther.html&ei=_DtoR9OCFKTsgQKg3-z8Dg&usg=AFQjCNHNqBClIuanBFXai24FFyyj3iWifg&sig2=sfSRo_cylqNFaCfbWvZsvg

I Fear Happiness.

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 15:34:00 GMT

In my typical Larry David form, I actually think I sort of fear being happy. Recently I've been better at allowing happiness to enter when unannounced, but I still can't help but be skeptical in its presence. While sitting back with arms folded in leery observation, I watch it float blissfully around me. Here's how I mentally interrogate Happiness:

Heh, you think you're going to stick around long? I highly doubt it! We'll just see about that...

Yeah I've seen your face before, turns out you were a damn hoax last time!

Seriously what do you think YOU are doing HERE.

Yea, yea, we've been through this before. Everyone knows you don't visit me.

Plenty of other good things visit me (hard won lessons, keen therapeutic approaches, how to survive crap), but not you.

You must have found the wrong house!

Come on, that's it!? This is who you are?? No painful cerebral entanglements, no agony, no major obstacles...just...you...HAPPINESS?? Well what the F do you think you're doing here??!! (OK I laughed out loud on that one).

So that's just it. You're here--well fine--but don't get too comfortable things can get pretty intense around here.

Am I a total Scrooge or what!??!!!?

Cheers for the Single Gal!

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 10:24:00 GMT

As someone who has spent a lot of time single, I warmly received this article (even if it is Oprah).

Enjoy!

http://www2.oprah.com/relationships/webmd/200711/relationships_single_b1.jhtml

21 Things I'm Thankful For

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 13:30:00 GMT

I have especially a lot to be thankful for this year. For the past couple years, the holidays have been kind of rough for me. I've learned many hard won lessons and can really support the old cliche in saying, I am stronger for it. I thought I'd remember and pass along what I've learned:

1. When you really love someone you let them go. You give them what they want because what matters more than your desire to hold on to them is their own happiness. That's true love.

2. You always have to "love yourself more." This may sound selfish but I have found it's another one of love's paradoxes that makes sense. When you love yourself first and say your needs you are able to love others exponentially.

3. When you don't take care of yourself first you can't ever take care of anyone else. Everything will be in vain, done out of guilt, fear of being alone, spite, or a myriad of other negative things.

4. You should build your life's castle on something solid.

5. I will never settle for a guy who isn't the Grand Pasion.

6. However wonderful, amazing, and free-falling it is, true love may not be forever. It may elude you, not fit with you fundamentally, or take off to Texas :). You are, however, stuck with yourself forever. So that's what I primarily like to work on.

7. I like living alone. I like tooling around in my small apartment obsessing over how the couch should be slanted. I don't feel lonely living alone--I rather enjoy it now.

8. Good friends are hard to come by. If you know you have a good one, just give everything you got to the friendship. It might not always seem 100% fair up front, but the rewards come around. They really do. Also, don't waste your time on bad friends. Life's too short.

9. I try and understand that there are many things out of my control, but that I can always be the decisive element by responding in a healthy, positive way to anything.

10. Though I love dark humor and cynicism, I've decided it is ultimately better to lean towards the light.

11. It's best to fill your life with people who want you to become who you are more than anything else.

12. In relationships, both parties should primarily focus on the dynamics between one another. In the end, your spouse must always come first. One marries a person not their family or friends. As a united front, a couple committed to compromise and each others' happiness can achieve anything.

13. I'm thankful I work with people who are like family.

14. I'm thankful I can take continuing ed classes at DePaul (Exploring Other Cultures: India this winter!)

15. I am thankful I have had a chance to see and be in the world. It has made me grow up and see all areas of life with more open eyes.

16. I'm thankful I've had the opportunity to date and get to know a lot of different kinds of guys. For all the bumps, bruises, and scrapes along the way, I can say it has wholeheartedly been worth it.

17. I am thankful to have someone in my life who cares so much about me. More so, I am thankful I have been able to totally open up my capacity care more than I ever have. It's an awesome feeling.

18. I am thankful to be alive every day, as my grandma used to say "with all four limbs."

19. I'm thankful I live in a country where I have the freedom to say what I want, be openly angry at it, and am able to achieve many of the things I want in life.

20. I am thankful I live in a country where the justice system is relatively in tact and citizens have more social support and resources than may other countries.

21. I am thankful I've come out of a lot of tough situations stronger and a bit wiser this year. I'm thankful to be who I am.

Update

Fri, 07 Dec 2007 09:39:00 GMT

Still tossing around a few career ideas. Can't wait for my Exploring Other Cultures: India class. Um, hopefully Lisa's for New Years. Will hopefully see Shawn Dec. 22. Things are better with the family. The Kantz's for Christmas. Ravi :):):):). Good things, good things.

Wow...

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 10:32:00 GMT

This woman's blog has ttttooootttalllyyy rocked my world... covers the whole "dating an Indian" thing and much, much more...

http://colorblindcupid.wordpress.com/

Cheers to Mike and Val!

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 12:55:00 GMT

Wedding speech I wrote for Mike and Val! :) ;)

To think this all started with a frantic phone call about pizza over three and a half years ago. One laid-back, Sunny afternoon I ran into a Mike and a group of his friends at the Old Town Art Fair here in Chicago. Since they were fun guys and I happened to know one of Mike’s friends, I ended up joining them for dinner. I also knew Val was TOTALLY on the prowl and I’d have to call and insist she come out to meet these guys. It wouldn’t easy to drag her out as Val is….basically stubborn. Anyway, we'll talk more about that later. Strategy was needed in this situation. I told Mike's posse to get Val out we’d have to go to Ranalli's, a pizza joint almost directly below her house. When we got to the pizza place, I called her and started the conversation with my typical "VAL YOU GOTTA GET OUT HERE! THERE'S ALL KINDS OF HOT GUYS!" To which Val replied, "NO Bergdogg! I'm not coming out, I'm tired! I've been on my feet all day! Forget it!" After some more whining and coaxing on my part Val ended up joining us within a half hour. By the end of the night she was sitting by...guess who? Her handsome groom she’s next to today.

Back to the story. I gotta say, from here on out things got pretty disgusting. While I was still playing the whole group of guys, flirting mercilessly, Mike and Val immediately engaged in wholesome, energetic conversation and were focused solely on one another. Now when does THIS ever happen when you're on the prowl!? The way they interacted and felt about meeting one another was…uncanny. When Mike and Val would meet again in a week their sickeningly adorable chemistry would fly again. While walking home with Mike and a few of his friends it was literally like he was walking on clouds. He kept going on and on about how incredible Val was, questioning if she was real, and amazed that she might be interested in him. I basically told Mike to settle down, keep it cool, and not call her for three to five days. He called her the next day. That same night I got home and Val wouldn't quit calling me until I picked up. She was totally wired and smitten for Mike going on and on about how nice and charming he was. She told me her heart was racing a hundred beats per minute thinking about him. I told her to blow him off at first and make him work for it. She answered his call the next day and immediately swooned all over the guy. Thankfully neither listened to me. It was obviously a done deal right from the start.

Like many of us here tonight, I know Val as my nurse buddy and dear, loyal friend. From cracking up over absurd jokes in the med room to needed late night "girlfriend interventions" at pubs, Val is someone who’s "always got your back." Now I mentioned Val was stubborn before, but what I've come to realize is that she is stubborn and unwavering most when it comes to the people she loves. She is one of the most fiercely loyal people I've ever known, and whatever the issue, even if she's not sure what your problem is, Val will always, always stand strong by your side. In my experience of friendship and loyalty, she is a rare find. You are one lucky person if Val's got your back. So Mike, you are lucky that Val's got your back and you've got her love.

As for Mike, I've been trying for three years to find the major flaw with this guy. There has to be a catch right? No guy can be this kind, genuine, and bright without some problem for Val’s girlfriends to pick apart. The worst I could get on him was Val's complaint that he somehow lost his shoes after a very, very late night out with Jack. I'm still mystified by how a thirty something year old corporate finance guy manages to do this, but Val, really, who cares about the shoes? You got the whole package, the real deal, and someone who well…really has his feet on the ground.

Since the time Mike and Val met they have experienced the ebb and flow of a relationship knowing that it’s not all about walking on clouds through Lincoln Park. They know it often takes work, sacrifice, and acceptance. Above all, throughout the entire time I’ve known Mike and Val, their commitment to one another has never once wavered. In my humble opinion, this is the single thing that has mattered most. They will always have that initial, great “love story” to cherish, remember, and gross their kids out with. Beyond that Val and Mike know what they need to do to really make it work. They know that it’s their exceptional commitment to one another that will carry them through anything.

So, it’s obvious you did pretty well in choosing one another. You're the team to beat, the couple we all want to root for. Your abundance of energy, drive, and aspiration make you a pleasure to be around and we all can’t wait to see your future unfold. Be grateful for each other's gift of partnership and love...and believe in it, always. Thank you for sharing this with all of us today, cheers to both of you!

Advice

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 11:54:00 GMT

Whether you give it or receive it, advice is a funny thing. As I get a bit older I rely on it less from others and find myself able to sift through what's crappy and what's good. Now, I mainly share my issues or problems in pursuit of support rather than seeking some answer. Don't get me wrong, I like when my keen friends present alternative view points and help to clarify options for me. But I believe there's a fine line between guiding others to decisions that coincide with who they really are and imposing one's own stuff on to them. Since experience shapes who we are so much, it's sometimes hard to not think our experiences reveal an all encompassing truth.

In a lot of cases, and I am guilty too, people give out advice that is often meant to make their own selves feel better about their own lives and choices. Even if this isn't the intent, it's difficult to separate our own truths from truths others are trying to come to themselves. When people seek me out with their problems, I try and work in a Socratic way by asking a lot of questions: what do you want? what do you think? I try not to contest or challenge what they are saying so much as to ask questions. These questions may or may not lead them to stumble on some truth of their own.

I recently gave a wedding speech and after being complimented several times on it, I simply said what I tried to do was tell the story of Mike and Val. I think everyone needs to have their own narrative. It's kind of like we have a woods, all our own, and it's our choice how to blaze our own paths. Who are we to judge how evey individual does that?

I've often thought that different things work for different people. Furthermore, you can't latch onto someone else's narrative. Some people will try and make their narratives fit with yours because they are just trying to help. Or worse, people try and impose their story on you because they are insecure and doubtful of their own.

So... ask wisely.

Travel contest...

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 13:26:00 GMT

Here's what I submitted to try and win this year long travel contest. I gotta win sometime!

Dear Friends at A Map for Saturday, November 29, 2007

When I heard about your contest today my heart started beating fast, my mouth dried up, and giddy impulses shot through me. Beyond this visceral response, I’m no stranger to the trials, triumphs, and graces revealed through longer-term travel. At 21, I completed three months alone on an Independent Study Abroad in Europe. Two years ago I did six weeks across the Trans-Siberian. This past summer, I spent a month camping and volunteering in India. Every trip never seems to be enough to ultimately wet my thirst!

My adult life has consisted of financing and getting through college, sorting out a disjointed childhood, forging a career, figuring out intimate relationships, and managing to squeeze in as much travel as I could along the way. Over the past few twenty-something years, at risk of sounding cliché, I’ve learned a lot. I’ve found peace with my family, I’m in love with the best man I’ve ever met, am content with my career, and take good care of myself. I am happy. However, the travel itch, and the stories that surface when it’s scratched…has never left my system. Fulfilling the urge to just get up, Go!, and really do it for a year feels absolutely imperative at this time in my life.

I’m a nurse. Like nursing, travel is sort of a leveling agent. Everyone gets sick: rich, poor, intellectual or otherwise. Unless you are an entirely ignorant traveler, one must succumb to worlds, like illness, full of unknowns, unforeseen events, and sometimes catastrophe. I think, what matters most is how one navigates through such experiences. The question to be asked is: what will your response to the challenge be? Regarding travel, the fun part of answering this question with a resounding “Yes! I’ll go forth!” often unfolds in radical contexts addressing practical, every day problems. Thus, the adventure begins…

I’m only an average writer, I didn’t go to the best college, and money can be tight at times. But here’s what I really got: more resiliency, curiosity, heartiness, flexibility, and desire to connect with all sorts of people than the Three Gorges can hold. In my mind, these attributes are what long-term travel rewards. Every now and again I think about what I lack, but travel always reminds me I’ve got stuff inside that’s rare and worth it. When I’m on the road I’m at my best.

I’ve blogged a thousand and one lively travel stories about the magic of meeting people abroad, border-crossing debacles, and living in excitingly dingy hostels. However, today, I wanted to give you sense of my personal travel philosophy. For someone who tends to get lost, jumping off my metaphysical platform yelling “Yes!” has never failed in leading me to all the right places. Please choose me to take the big leap!

Best of luck in finding your Next Great Traveler!

Regards,
Sarah B******

Leaning Towards the Light

Sun, 25 Nov 2007 23:55:00 GMT

Wrapped in
warm light

This moment
-long time coming-
Hard won

You make it
all
Worth it.

What did I ever do right?
in a
former life

To deserve This
Moment
I will never forget.

Light years of
blessings
and thanks

I throw out
to
the universe.

You, the Warmest
Light
I lean towards...

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 20:44:00 GMT

John Stuart Mill in "On Liberty": we should never silence what we take to be a wrong opinion for many reasons, one of which is depriving ourselves of challenging those beliefs we take to be true.

How I feel about NY...

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 20:00:00 GMT

Why leaving New York should be sadder than leaving any other city, I don't know. Some people who visit or who live here leave New York believing they never made the most of it, and a visitor is usually inclined to think the same. Unless you were miserable in New York, regret at how little you did or saw is a part of departure. I once heard a British professor say that New York was an old lover and that he hated the next farewell so strongly that he preferred not to visit again. He said this with genuine feeling.